You choose to see what you want to see
Not what ought to be seen.
So I will not stop you
If your judgement
Is birthed from somewhere inside your gut
Or your bowels- I don’t care for precision;
From your envy or hate,
I’m not sure.
Of something that you cannot hold…
Like water running past the cup-hold of your palms
Of a life so filled with joy,
I will not stop you, for sure.
If you have come to a conclusion
That these smiles that
I so effortlessly mould on the tips of my lip lines
That drip of honey
Which you have not tasted
Are a proof of who I am.
Delicately seductive to the dryness of your pain
From the heavy liquid oozing from your wounds.
I said I will do nothing to stop you
If your own tears that are softly veiled by the feathers of your eyelashes,
Are overshadowed by my own tears that are
Somewhere in the valleys of the Ruwenzori
Lying there dully,
Exhausted from running
And for which I will not drain back up the mountains of my soul.
I surely will not stop you-
If you choose to wallow in your misery
Beating your fist against your left breast.
While with my knees touching the ground,
I raise my arms up in surrender to-
Stolen titanic strengths.
I shall do no stopping for you,
For on my part….
I am no saviour….
A coward I may be,
But no coward more than you.
« Do not make your being a graveyard. » Ijeoma Umebinyuo.
NB: So the year is coming to an end. I have learnt so many things. But one thing I have had to learn over and over again, is not to dwell in self pity. Hence me trying to write a poem capturing the struggle. How do people do it, banaye? I mean, master this lesson so well like mathematical tables, perhaps? And the funniest thing is I think children are better at this lesson than we grownups. ( I had to convince myself that I’m a grownup while writing this… lol!) And now that I’m steadily growing into an adult, I would have liked to scream….. »Someone take me back! » But, I can’t. So I guess this is the defining moment; being an adult and hence accompanying my thoughts and feelings in « grownup » strides. oh, Happy new year!